Tuesday, November 19, 2013


Once upon a time, I kept a livejournal.  Yep, I did.

It's been no less than 15 years ago, and for some reason tonight, "log in to livejournal!" popped into my head.  So I did.  Or at least I tried.

A nastygram popped up that said This journal has been purged and deleted.

Fitting.  Very fitting.
Monday, September 23, 2013

Well, they didn't say rum.....

But they did say FREE BEER at the finish line, so there's that.

I know you all have been waiting with bated breath (HA!) for me to post about the marathon, but it's taken me a day or so to wrap my head around the whole thing.  So here's the lowdown.

First and foremost, let me just say I think I'll be ticking half marathons off the ol' bucket list.  

So, the good stuff....

The weather was great.  A little drizzly in the AM, but nice and cool.  It stayed overcast most of the morning, which kept the temp down.  The sun came out around mile 8, but it was still great weather. It never got hot.

It was the Air Force Marathon, and the course took us through Wright Patt.  I got to see some very cool things I never would have had the chance to see otherwise.  Also, since it was on base, service men (and women, of course) were guarding the barricades and they were cheering us on.  They cheered us as we ran/walked by, and we thanked them for their service.

I got a medal!  Not a first place (or even 50th place) medal, but I have a beautiful finishers medal that I will forever be proud of.  

My boy stayed at my side the whole time, even though I'm sure it was killing him to stay at my pace.  And we walked with a very dear friend.  I still say she is a dear friend, even though she's the one who suckered us into this in the first place.

Free beer!  And water, milk (eww, right?  But I guess runners swear by it), huge chunks of bread, bananas and LaRosa's pizza at the finish line.

I burned over 2300 calories in just over 4 hours.  YEAH!!!!

Now, the not so good...

I can't lie, you guys.  I'mma bring it to you raw.  It was brutal.  BRUTAL.  I kept thinking "13.1 miles?  Eh, I'm going to walk it.  No sweat."  Because really, who can't walk 13 miles, amIright? 

I will just tell you that by mile 7, the boy and I weren't even talking out of the need for me to conserve energy.  By mile 9, I was stopping at least once, if not twice, a mile to stretch.  About mile 10, my muscles were on fire and my feet hurt like nothing I've ever felt and I had to will myself not to cry.

Around mile 8, this was our conversation:
Boy:  Come on, babe.  You can do this.
Me:  I know.  I know.  *whimper* OhmyGodIhurtallover.
Boy:  But we're almost done!  We just hit mile 8!
Me:  That is so, so good.  Wait a minute... mile 8?  That means we have FIVE MORE TO GO!

Not only did I do a 13.1 mile course, but it was no less than a 1 mile walk from car to starting line, and from finish line back to car.  I.  Wanted.  To.  Die.

My feet still hurt.  I've been gimping around for two days.  No foolies.

But here's the thing.  There are no words to describe going down the final quarter mile stretch, under the wings of old military planes, and crossing that finish line.  My legs were barely holding me up by then and I was so exhausted I was willing myself into putting one foot in front of the other, but I had the biggest smile as I crossed.  

So, no - I have absolutely no desire to do a half marathon ever again.  You have my full permission to bust my chops if I sign up next year.  But I do want to keep running.  10k's?  I'd totally be down for that.  You know... once I can walk normally again. 
Thursday, September 19, 2013

I thought they said RUM!

It's almost here, you guys!  Marathon weekend!!!!  According to the countdown on their website says it's just 1 day, 4 hours and 15 minutes (and 12 seconds).

I have my RUNNOFT playlist all updated.  I have energy gels and bars to stash in my belt.  Tech socks are clean.  Stocked up on Bodyglide.  Bib pickup is tomorrow. A carb-licious dinner planned.  And praying hard for no rain!

Even though the boy and I never expected to set any speed records, I am a little bummed that I had a minor setback with training (you know, that whole losing an organ thing).  As long as I get across that finish line, I will be SO FREAKING STOKED.

Monday, September 9, 2013

This happened. This REALLY happened.

Scene: Bath and Body Works, one poor young girl working the store alone on a Sunday afternoon.

Clerk: I'm so sorry for your wait, thanks for being patient.  I'll be right with you all.

Me, the next person in line: No worries, you look a little swamped.

Broad perusing the table next to the register to her daughter: Maggie, come on.  We're next.

Me: Looks behind me to see if I'm the only person to notice this bitch cutting the line.  Excuse me, I've been here for a few minutes.  There's a line.

Broad: I was actually in line, just looking at this table.

Guy behind me:  Well, then you were not in line.  That is called "still shopping."

Broad:  I have to get my daughter to a birthday party.  Sits stuff down on counter right smack in front of me.

Guy behind me:  Great lesson for your daughter on respecting others.

Broad: Ignores guy.  We're on our way to a birthday party.  It said no gifts, but I think this would be nice for my daughter to give her, don't you?  Do you have any ribbons we could tie on these?  Maggie, these are 5 for $10.  Can you go pick two more?

Me:  You're kidding, right?  You are what's wrong with humanity.

Why, WHY didn't I channel my inner Rube?  Had I not been so shocked by her rude behavior (really, what is this, the middle school lunch line?), I would have Rubed her in a heartbeat.

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Self-imposed fail whale

Tonight, I bid a fond adieu to my Twitter account.  I just can't handle the narcissistic, meaningless CRAP of social media these days.  There are more important things in life, you guys.  

Sunday, August 25, 2013


I hosed my Facebook today.  Not totally, I didn't permanently delete it, but I did deactivate it. It had become so much useless drivel, I found myself more annoyed scrolling through my news feed than anything.

No, I do NOT want to play Candy Crush.

No, I do NOT care about your funny little dog pictures.

No, I do NOT care what you're watching on TV.

No, I do NOT care about the mundane errands you ran today.

My FB page stayed fairly quiet.  I didn't want to be "that guy" spamming my friends list with stuff they don't particularly care about.  So, if I'm not interested in what you're doing, and I don't really want to bore you with what I'm doing...  what's the point?

Not to mention, Heaven only knows how much time I spent zoning out there.  I have so many things I could be doing with my time.  Better, more productive things.

I've kept my Twitter (for now, anyway), I've kept my lil blog, and I'll hang onto G+ and Pinterest (because, really, Pinterest is GENIUS).  But Facebook.... don't let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya.
Tuesday, August 6, 2013

I get it.

Cone of shame?  I get it now.  I understand.  I AM YOUR PEOPLE.

I'm 11 days post surgery, and my belly itches like a mug.  Ain't that some junk?
Friday, August 2, 2013

Lessons learned

I bandaged up and went out for a run today.  Here are a few things I learned:

  • Yes, I do need my inhaler.  Even for a mile.
  • The post surgery can't-eat-much diet?  Not good for a runner.
  • Find shade and park your ass when you start feeling faint for the above two reasons.
I was only able to get in 1.12 miles.  And it took me a hair over 17 minutes to get that far (don't judge me).  But you know what?  This was my first run in over two months.  

It also occurred to me that one week ago, I HAD AN ORGAN REMOVED FROM MY BODY. Today, I felt well enough to run.

Ain't science GREAT?!!

Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Something was rotten in the state of Denmark


Is this thing on?

Yeah, I know it's been awhile.  Yeah, I know that like 2 people read this.  I haven't forgotten about my dear blog, but I really haven't had a whole lot to say.  I was running, and I was doing fairly well with it.  Sure, my times weren't pretty, but I had worked my way up to a 5 miler.  I have an app to keep track of my stats - really didn't feel the need to post them here.

So, like I said.  I was running.  And then, I didn't feel well. I'd had this "not feeling well" on and off for the last couple of years, but I'd get up the next morning and be fine.  Most evenings, I went on my run anyway.  Until I REALLY didn't feel well.  Like 5 days in a row of feeling so horrendous that I caught myself googling "how can you tell if you're having a heart attack?"  It was about the time of that particular google search that I had the epiphany that I was being utterly stupid and made myself an appointment with my family doc.

Long story short, after several office visits, EKGs (to rule out the "big scary stuff" first), x-rays and an abdominal ultrasound, my diagnosis was confirmed.

My gallbladder had gone rogue.

(Wait a minute.  What??  Isn't that what old ladies complain about?)

Anyhoo, I was referred to a surgeon by my family doc, met with him, and he was kind of a dick. So, I gathered referrals from friends and family and found someone else.  I had my consultation, scheduled my surgery date, and here I am 5 days post-op.  Bruised and tender, but feeling pretty sassy for having an organ missing. There's a new sheriff in town, you guys.

Have to admit, I'm super nervous about the race in September.  I think had things gone smoothly, I could have had myself ready for the 13.1 miles coming up in 7 very short weeks.  I wasn't expecting any hiccups, particularly giant ones that made me park my running shoes in the closet for close to two months.  I keep reminding myself - I'm not running it to win it.  I'm running it to do it.  Complete it.  Cross the finish line.  To show myself that I can.  It may take me a little longer than planned, but I will still cross the finish line.

Friday, March 29, 2013

Up and R-U-N-N-O-F-T

(Editors note:  DANG, I love that movie!)

I've been feeling pretty sassy about my running self.  Up until this week, that is.

I had one really kick ass day.  Like hard core kick ass. More kick ass than all my previous kick ass days.  I was on FIYAH (so were my legs, but that's beside the point). Then, as quickly as it came, it was gone.  So I had a conversation with 2 fellow runners from work.

Me:  So. When does it stop sucking?
Runner 1:  Race day.
Runner 2:  Yep.  Race day.
Me:  Let me rephrase, when do I stop sucking?

I explained the really rad days, followed by the days when I want to die a minute or so in.  Their response?  IT'S NORMAL.

Seriously?  It's normal? Somebody couldn't have let me in on that little nugget of knowledge before I had myself feeling like a schmuck who will never finish 13.1 miles?  But that's alright.  Now I know I'm not alone in the bad days, I will take them as they come, and I'll do my best.  And I'll try to do better on my next run.

Monday, March 18, 2013

Oh Boy! and also, Oh Shit!


The unofficial half marathon map has been posted here.


That is a lot of marathonin'.

Wednesday, March 13, 2013


I don't hate running.  I thought I would.  Truth be told, sometimes in the midst of running, there is some cussin' going on in my head. (Okay, you win.  A LOT of cussin'.)  So tonight, I pulled my data from my fabulous Polar FT40 since the beginning of the year:

11 workouts, ranging from 197-629 calories burned for a grand total of

(..... wait for it......)

3,758 calories BURNINATED!!!!

That, dear readers, is why I don't hate running.

Thursday, February 7, 2013

just some stuff

I've been able to get out running a few times now.  Everyone's favorite question - how was it?  My favorite response  - I didn't die!  I can't lie, it's been tough getting started, mostly because of our crappy Ohio winter.  My lungs just can't hang with the cold air, but any time it's above 35, I'm out there!  I'm hoping that the bitter cold spells are over for the season, and I can start getting some consistency going.  I even got out tonight with this bronchial infection that has me barking like a seal.  (Yes, mom, I took it easy.)

I've decided that the BEST part of running is that the sleeves on running shirts have thumb holes!  I looooove thumb holes!  I want all of my shirts to have them!

Oh, and the shoes.  I could never have imagined that I could run without my feet screaming in agony.  I actually look forward to putting these suckers on.  They may not be terribly pretty, but they are oh-so-dreamy on my tootsies.  Saucony Triumph 10.

Yep.  They're orange.  And tacky.  And I *heart* them.

Monday, January 21, 2013

High Gear? Not so much.

At this very moment, in my Gem City backyard, it is 10 degrees.  Fahrenheit.


What has two thumbs and isn't crazy enough to be out trying to run in this nonsense?  This girl.

So what have I been doing since I signed up?  A fair amount of shopping.  My friend Cyndee took me to get fitted for running shoes.  They are.... well, they're orange.  Tacky, but fun.  And folks driving down the street aren't gonna miss me.  I bought a little bit of cold weather gear, too.  Sticker shock, much?

The boy and I did get out yesterday for a little bit and do a few miles of walking on the bike path.  Walking by the water on a cold windy day, 2-3 miles was about all I could handle.  It wasn't much, but it was a start!  And I did about 45 minutes of cardio tonight, since it's brutally cold outside.

Just waiting for this horrible weather to move on out.  I'm jonesin' to really get into some training!!!

Saturday, January 12, 2013

I did it!!!

This morning, I registered for the 2013 US Air Force Half Marathon.  My brain is on OVERLOAD.  Want a peek at what's going on in my noggin?

  • What the hell am I thinking?
  • OH!  I get a medal for finishing!
  • I'm sure I'll finish.  Huh.  I sure hope I finish.  Will I finish?
  • Did Not Finish is better than Did Not Start, right?
  • Gotta get gear.  Hello, shopping!
  • Ha!  I'll be running on purpose!
  • I hope my lungs don't implode.
  • Thank goodness my boy is signing up too.  I'mma need that pressure.  I mean... support.
  • When can I go to get fitted for shoes this week?
  • My legs are gonna be solid by September.  YES!
  • Gah, this is kinda scary.
  • MAN, this is gonna be RAD!
  • Where is a good place to run in the 'hood?
  • Forgot about night time running during the winter.  Gotta get some reflective stuff.
  • I can totally do this.
All said, I am super excited about this.  

Bring. It. On.

Sunday, January 6, 2013


I've been nursing a bit of a cold this weekend.  Nothing terrible, I've definitely seen worse!  My goal was to feel well enough to exercise a bit today.

So I did.  A bit.  I didn't realize how much this cold was zapping me until I had to tap out less than halfway through my usual cardio workout.  That's okay though - something is better than nothing!

Week 1:  1552 calories burned.  (HEY PANTS!  Did you hear that?  Let's be a little more forgiving this week, shall we?)

Now.... where are those cold pills......
Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Workout #2

No, I won't be counting them - just couldn't come up with a clever title!

30 minutes of cardio - 320 calories burned.

Tonight, I reminded myself that I don't have to go all out every time.  I just have to do something most of the time.

At the nudging of a good friend, I think I have a big commitment and an even bigger challenge in my future.  More to come - provided I don't chicken out before I make the commitment!

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

It's 2013!

What, WHAT?  It's 2013 already???

I rarely do resolutions, but this year, I set one for myself.  To put it simply, I want to get back to where I was last year.  For eight whole months, I kept myself motivated and working out regularly. I ate well.  I felt good.  I actually felt crappy if I went more than a day or two without exercising.

So, how did I go from that to just a small handful of workouts in the past four months?  I could blame the following things:

  • A wicked head cold.
  • My asthma kicked into overdrive due to said head cold and changing seasons.
  • A stomach virus.
  • A death in the boy's family.
  • Holidays (because who doesn't stay rondo busy from October through Jan 1?).
Like I said, I could blame those things.  And while they were convenient excuses (as can be evidenced by the current size of my ass), the only thing I can really blame is me, myself and I.  So, I am officially back on that horse.  This year, I resolve to commit the time to working out.  

Today's workout:  55 minutes of cardio, 628 calories burned.


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